found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he thought i was a dude.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
