I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
