I just made out with a guy for $7.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
