WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
