I just saw a hot homeless man
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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