My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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