You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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