Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
