Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
