It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
