Your dad touched me again.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
