Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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