i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
