Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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