I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
