I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dick very happy bro
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
