my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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