Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
