What did we do last night that was yellow?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
