Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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