Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
