Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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