i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
