am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We were destined to go to rehab together
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
