Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
