It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Sext me about skeletons
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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