best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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