Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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