I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I want her autograph on my taint
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
