Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
