She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
