go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
