i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
