i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
