i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
