i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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