i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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