Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
