Define "chronic" masturbator.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I stole a fireplace last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
