Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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