I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
