the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
