You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Green mimosas i think yes
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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