3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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