honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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