cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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