New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
