dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
