so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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