i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
