Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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