You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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