when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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