omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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