It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize