when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
