last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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